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21 Things I've Learned by the Age of 21

Welcome to my first blog post! I thought this particular subject would be a really great way for you to get to know me and maybe gain some life insight along the way. I do have to preface these 21 things with the fact that I don't claim to be an expert on any of these things and am still working on mastering them myself. However, in the two decades I have been alive, I'v been blessed with some really cool experiences that have made me who I am today. I'm really grateful to be able to share it with all of you.

1. Happiness is a Choice.

For real, girl. One of the greatest lessons I've learned in life is that happiness is not the result of success. It’s a daily habit. Happiness isn’t something that comes to you, it’s something you have to create for yourself. Positivity attracts positivity. So, next time someone cuts you off in traffic or you drop your Starbucks on the way into work, remember that it doesn’t have to effect your whole day.

2. Meditation Matters.

Do you ever feel like your mind and body aren’t on the same page? Ever wanna wake up early or go to the gym but your body says, NOPE? Sounds like you need a little meditation in your life. Meditation isn’t a religious practice or some hokey thing that hippies do. Meditation allows your body to sit still so your mind can be in control. It helps you think less, worry less, and be more. It's kind of a superpower if you ask me.

3. Ice Cream with a Friend is Therapy.

While I don’t encourage emotional eating, I do believe that eating an ice cream cone with a friend on a bad day can kind of fix everything. During my 21 years around the sun, I've had a fair number of bad days, broken hearts, and hopeless hours. The most memorable have been the ones where a loved one has said,” Let's get some ice cream and talk about it.” I don’t know if its the sugary goodness that reminds me that not everything in the world is bad or being with someone who cares. But I do know that getting together with good friends and good food can be life changing.

4. Failure helps you succeed.

Starting from rock bottom is kind of awesome. Failing at something can help us figure out our priorities and put us back on the path to success. Failure gives us experience, builds resilience, and helps us learn what NOT to do. Without failure, we wouldn’t be able to know empathy, kindness, and what it feels like to achieve something great.

5. Be Unapologetically You.

Its 2019, it’s time to be yourself. Do what you love. Wear what you want. There’s nothing more satisfying that being and loving who you are. In a world that craves conformity it can be hard to know who you are or how to get there. Don’t be afraid of being yourself or exploring until you find peace within yourself.

6. Make Time for what You Love.

Life is fleeting. There is no escaping time. Take time to appreciate your loved ones and do things that increase your quality of life. Being “too busy” just isn’t a good excuse anymore. If there’s something that you really want to do, don’t be afraid to say yes to yourself. Just do the thing.

7. Talk to God everyday.

For me personally, I've taken the past year to really focus in on the beautiful little miracles that Heavenly Father has sprinkled throughout my days. Some days it's really hard for me to talk to God because I feel really imperfect. The really beautiful thing about prayer is that his ears are always open and his arms are always outstretched to us. No matter our shortcomings, faults, or doubts. Building a relationship with God looks different for everyone, but a great start is just talking to him daily. You’ll start to feel his divine love for you and life starts to get a lot sweeter.

8. Intuition is Real.

Going with your gut is a very real thing. If you get a bad vibe from the guy who asked you on a date last week or feel like you need to take a different way home, you’re probably right. Our bodies are really amazing and are able to sense and do things we aren’t even aware of. Intuition being one of these things. Some scientists even call it a form of intelligence.

9. Environment is Everything.

We’ve all heard the saying, we become the people we hang out with. Not only do we become the people we surround ourselves with, but we are a reflection of our environments. If you have a poor work environment, your attitude will be poor. If you have a messy room, you will most likely look or feel messy. When our environments aren’t set up for success, we can feel really distracted or stuck. Girl, clean your room. You know who you are.

10. Mom’s actually do know Best.

Let’s be honest with ourselves here, we’ve all had that ‘I told you so” moment with our moms. For the most part, moms always want what’s best for you and generally aren’t afraid to tell you the truth even if its a little hurtful at first. Your mom is undeniably one of the most important people in your life. Treat her with the respect and love that she gives to you every day. Don't forget to say "I love you" and call her.

11. Tell your Friends you Love Them.

A sad truth that you will learn when you get older is that good friends are hard to come by. I consider my close friends to be some of the greatest treasures in my life. Life is too short to not appreciate the special people in your life. You literally hand picked them because you enjoy their existence and that’s pretty amazing. Don’t be afraid to tell your friends you love them because odds are, they love you too.

12. Don’t be afraid to say no.

Alone time and having a moment for yourself is so important. Sometimes you need to say yes to yourself by saying no to others. Spreading yourself thin to please others is not healthy. Next time someone asks you to go out, just remember it's okay to say no and you don’t even need an excuse.

13. Compliment People.

If you like someone’s shoes, or you think someone’s hair looks really great, tell them. 9 times out of 10, it will make their day and you’ll feel pretty great too. Being a positive source of happiness and love in someone’s life can really change your perspective. Genuine compliments are like little gifts that don’t cost anything but have great value.

14. Take Risks.

If you want your life to have meaning, you have to put yourself out there. Yes, there is a possibility that you could fail. However, the odds are a more in your favor than you think. If you fail, so what? You just have to try again. In the event that you don’t fail, you could change your life.

15. Wash your Face.

Not only does it make you feel like you have your crap together, but it’s just good for you. You skin looks better, you feel better, and it's actually an act of self love. Investing time in yourself and your skin improves the way you look and feel about yourself.

16. It’s okay to apologize first.

If you’re married, this one might come in handy. Pride is a tricky thing and sometimes it can cause a lot of unnecessary harm to a relationship. Realizing you were wrong and admitting it helps you be more in control of your emotions. It can also make it easier to prevent or diffuse disagreements in the future. Don’t let your pride control you or cause you to regret something for the rest of your life.

17. Let Go.

It’s so important to forgive yourself and move on from the past. Admitting what you or someone else did wrong and apologizing to those you hurt or yourself are the first steps to healing. Its okay to talk to a therapist or seek guidance outside of yourself. Letting go of the past can be the difference between being stuck in a poor state of mind, or elevating yourself to a better life.

18. There’s no such thing as someone who “Completes” you.

You don’t need a man to be the best version of yourself. At one point in my life, I looked for men that had parts in them that I lacked. The simple truth is, going into a relationship unwhole only leads to a lot of unhealthy behaviors. The best way to go into a relationship is as two wholes, working to improve themselves and offer support to each other. You can’t fix someone else and can’t expect someone else to fill your empty holes.

19. Keep Your promises.

Nobody likes a flake. Broken promises lead to broken bonds of friendship. When we don’t keep our word, people’s respect for us goes down. It’s also extremely important to keep our promises with ourselves. Self-worth is the result of treating ourselves and others with the respect and care that they deserve.

20. Be open to new ideas and stay curious.

We are not our parents and sometimes, mom and dad don’t always know best. Most of us are raised with a very biased set of values and ideas. Its okay to question everything and do your own research. Being open minded allows you to have mindful conversations and have confidence in what you do believe. Being open minded also means being honest with yourself and those around you. Admitting that you’re not all-knowing and are willing to learn more can lead to some pretty amazing experiences.

21. Get to know yourself.

Do we really know who we are? So many people don’t know who they are and what they wanna do with their life. This leads to trouble with self worth, direction, and success. Sometimes, I think we forget to slow down, be alone, and spend time with ourselves. Self discovery is a lifelong process but it’s never too late to get started.

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2 komentarze

Brenda Meier
Brenda Meier
04 lut 2019

Wow, Tori! This is wonderful. Several of these things I need to learn, as well. Thanks!


Tori, so proud to have you as a daughter. Your writing has inspired me to act on some of your 21 things. Thank you.

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